Being grown up isnt half as fun as growing up

I'm gonna start writing in this like i'm an lj veteran.

Today I went to the movies with my brother and saw Click. About half an hour in I wrote it off as just another cliche Adam Sandler movie, that it would be pretty funny but it wasnt gonna change my life. An hour later I was sobbinggg cuz it was really good lol...so yea, i'm always a little emotional, its pretty much my thing lol but for whatever reason this movie really touched me. I'm pretty sure I completely embarrassed my brother in front of the movie viewing public but I'm okay with that. lol So, not to spoil the movie but he ends up living in fast forward. He puts his work ahead of the other aspects of his life and everything falls apart. So here I am sitting in my theatre seating and feeling like my life has been in fast forward for a little while. I'm not sure it has but the movie made me think that. Its possible that i'm just at this transition point in life and the mix of drama and new freedom and the consequences of those are part of that. Maybe I should slow it all down--but that makes me think i will miss out. I feel like we are put on this world to make a difference in it and make an impression on people for life to have any meaning. So if i just chill for awhile am i less successful? By my own definition, yes. Which is why i flip out when my SAT scores are really great but not what i wanted. And the reason i hate so much that i have no idea what career i want. I have this vague picture of what i want--it basically involves changing the world. lol shes a dreamer.
So now I'm a senior and my parents are getting older and i can see it and my brother has a gf and i have a group of friends that i know will be with me for the long run, like were gonna go to starbucks at 50 for lattes. And it makes me feel very grown up. and I dont really want to grow up. lol its do-able but i'd rather not. thanks. lol
Ive been taking things day by day and for right now its the best way to do it. I'm going after what i want now whether what i want is right for me or not. I'm trying to hold on to the best of my past while living today. its a balancing act. *performer*
and where does a relationship fit into this? lol thats def gotta be the topic of my next entry.
Anyways catch u on the flipp side :)
I need a new catchphrase :)

<3 Rach